your certainly not alone i had a bout of moderate to severe depression complete with self harming and suicidal fantasies but two things to consider the first is curiosity how can you not want to know what happens next? Second is the fact that if life can be this bad what makes you think that death won't hold a far worse torment? I will for those reasons resist death for as long as i can

--
Opinions founded on prejudice are always sustained with the greatest violence.
-- Hebrew Proverb.

it's my favorite fantasy lately.

I see each day, as bitter as some may make me, as yet another opportunity to learn and grow. I do not long for death. After each burn and stab to the heart, I open my arms, raise my head toward the sky and shout "Is that all!?!"

I have been pretty dark and bitter this past week, and somehow, your poem actually helped me to see the light again.

--
"Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."

I don't want to kill myself or die. I just don't think I belong here on earth, most of the time.

I get the feeling as though I have either been left behind, or I am just lost and wandering. Like some great spiritual accident happened and I got seperated or throw to the wind, ending up here.

I live more in the supernatural realm then in a physical one. The unseen is more "real" to me then the flesh is. I have the feeling I was not meant to be walking around in the world of the fleshies (that's what I call people without a higher mindset, or without spirituality at all. More a slave to their own selves/skin than anything. I guess alot of people just call them mundane) and it makes me want to escape it. If I am not here by accident, I want to hurry up and find the purpose I was sent to this realm for. I want to accomplish it, and go back to where I came from, were I belong.

--
He will command His angels concerning you, to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, that you do not strike your foot against a stone Psalms 91:11-12
I'm going to Disney World!

ya should have caught me on Monday, fecking rat poison was all gone.. fecking rats ate it all. no i am not kidding.

being disabled sucks.

--
I am all that is left of life, I am Vodalok, I am Vampire.
find my first novel at borders, amazon.com or any bookstore that can order. L. A. Nantz

/raises a hand
let's do this.

--
ಠ_ಠ

you're not the only one to think those things , or feel those feelings

very morbid though I must admit.
and , it seems we tend to look forward
to death more if something in our life
that we're wanting / needing just isn't there.

--
When you're chewin' on lifes gristle
don't grumble
give a whistle
and this'll help things turn out for the best
and always look on the bright side of life [link]

I know.

I wish I'd come across this sooner.

I feel like this sometimes. As a virtually unknown author, I occasionally feel like maybe I should give it all up because it's an uphill battle in mud and shit to be an artist, but I guess I'm just a masochist, because I keep at it, I keep living, even if just to see how far I can fall and how badly I can fail.

But the cool thing is that I often find that it's not quite so bad as I thought. Sure, practically no one ever takes the time to read the books and stories I've poured my soul into, but every one of them that has looked into them has come away smiling and happy and impressed. Some even say I'm their favorite author. I guess life is all about taking the gems that we can fish from the shit, haha. I don't know.

Fact is, you're a beautiful woman, and at the very least, that's something, I suppose. You're smart, you're artistic. Sure, the world is bent on destroying people like us, but y'know, you've still got alot going for ya, at the very least.

And there are people out there who are real, who are true, who give a damn, haha. They're rarer than gold, but y'know, they're also much more valuable. Strive to find people like that. People with heart.

Hope that helps. It's probably not what you were looking for, but I dunno, it seemed appropriate. Try to smile.

--
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